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Questioning, wondering, and reflecting on the journey of bipolar disorder

Published on June 1, 2015 under bipolar disorder

I sit and I wonder about the pharmaceutical influences I am under and the diagnosis of bipolar disorder that hovers like clouds of thunder.

I question answers I’ve been given and question the questions that in my mind have arisen.

I wonder why do I have to be medicated to stay in this reality.  In questioning this question I remove the “why” which yields the next enquiry.

Do I have to be medicated to stay in this reality?  It seems to me it must not be 100% so.  When I ask my heart it gives me a no.

I then wish to comprehend on that which I can depend to mend my repressed and disembodied soul.

I ask this knowing that I don’t know but that I must stay open to that which glows when I feel again that my heart knows.

I freeze as I ponder complexities and perplexities that are beyond the context of current paradigms texts.

Do I have the courage to lean in the direction of what was gleaned when seeing the unseen?

All I have are questions and no answers.  There is freedom in this exploration.

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7 Comments

  1. alee5388

    I often thinks it’s very difficult for us bipolar sufferers to questions that we do ask our mind, the answers always seem to be hidden, but maybe the questions don’t always need answers or the answers come along with part of our experience and finding new ways to cope. I think medication obviously plays a significant part in stabilising mood, but I certainly don’t think it’s about medication alone. It could be cbt, family therapy, talking therapy, new hobbies/interests and support groups, I also think that trying to me an expert in your condition is the best thing you can do I am constantly reading and developing my knowledge on bipolar as if there is new evidence that comes about I may discuss it with my doctor or psychiatrist if it will be beneficial or not.
    I love the passion you’ve put into this blog post it’s brilliant, and you’re not alone with this bipolar battle! Take care

  2. Tiny

    I don’t have bipolar disorder, I think every person has some type of “bipolarism”, but of course I can’t compare what you are living now! I think the “system” creates too much stress over us with merchandise saying we should and have to find the meaning of life and question everything we are!

    Nowadays we’ve asked more questions than the answers we keep waiting and seeking to find direction and meaning in our lives

    We hear a lot about purpose and meaning, what path, journey and presence, pressuring us TO BE and BECOME this and that.

    We need to stop and walk at our own pace, we are here living for these reasons: TO LOVE, AND TO PLAY WITH OUR BEST, doesn’t matter if we are broken inside, accepting and recognizing make us appreciate!

    The ego says, “Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.” The spirit says, “Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.”

    “What you resist persist”

    Tiny … Your pupil 😉

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