Thoughts about the topic of “mental illness”
Years and years ago I wrote down “find a topic that people have to know about but few have tried to explain yet”. I just found this written on an old piece of paper. It struck me that this statement is profound in that it is now the experience of my life.
I am attempting to “explain” my “mental illness” in a way. Or at least I’m trying to explain it to myself. I am trying to find a satisfying way to frame it, and I don’t think there is just one way. The current biomedical model is outdated at best and harmful at worst. I’m not saying anything new.
I want to say new things and think new things and feel new things and experience new things. I want to make meaning of my experience in ways that are meaningful to me. Beyond meaningful. Inspiring, helpful, incredible, magical.
I don’t know how to begin to do this but I don’t want to stop having these conversations with myself, with the Universe.
Today I asked that the Universe give me a sign to allow me to accept the calmness that abides in me despite the chaos. For some reason I choose to hold some inner contraction rather than surrender to the Universal attraction that is intention flowing outward.
Can I be excited and inspired that unfolds from a foundation of calmness?
I will not stop until there is magic for all. Is there safety in magic? Can I trust the magic? Can I surrender to the magic? I wonder.
I real-eyes that I will never figure it all out. My eyes look inward as a way of “figuring in” instead of figuring out. How do I figure in to this Universe? I can’t figure it out.
Instead of trying to put bits of information together in a linear way I will ponder and question without trying to know. As soon as I think I know I stop learning. To learn is to perceive is to see.
So much of this is “negative” language. It’s time to refrain and reframe. Strengths based we all have strengths.