Actual date February 5th, 2015

Published on May 1, 2016 under bipolar disorder

Nothing makes sense I just have to get this out of me so I can get out of here.

My fly video is a magical record.  Is it proof that I was one with all things?  They weren’t afraid of me.

Design a way out.  These thoughts are non linear.  Stop trying to make them linear.

I was trying to leave the planet.

Have I mastered the 4 lower imprints?  Survival.

Can the integration process be effortless?  The learning.  The love of learning.

Learning to integrate the vision I saw such that it manifests in reality.  Remembering to take pictures and save all the magics/anomalies that contradict reality.  In service of all.

Ask questions.

I want to be infinitely generous in the moment to what the moment requires.  What does this moment require?

I am in that I nourish and provide for this consciousness.  Is the fun in reading the book of my life?  Is the fun in writing the book of my life?

Once upon a time there was a girl who was destined to be insane.  She was kind of insane in that she did really stupid things before actually becoming certifiably insane by the standards of society.

What is society anyways?

Blogging blind folded or mind folded my mind is folded up in this reality and unfolds manifestation and all of creation is one nation.

I’m not sure what kind of perspective on living and lifestyle I want to create but I’m sure I caught a glimpse of it in one of my bipolar states.

I want to find it and integrate it.  It feels amazing to live this way (mania) and terrible to not (depression) and the normal state is only numbed to the depression we would feel if we weren’t numb.  How can we not be depressed by the state of the world.  Living from lack.  Hoarding ideas.  Taking security in these ideas.

I want to put my body on display and explain how I do it.

There is no cause for anything because there is no thing.

There is no cause for celebration so celebrate uncaused.

The “purpose” of the brain is celebration so celebrate uncaused.

Maybe I need less sleep because of the structural integration.

Not logical but integral.

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