Hello friends…got potential?
Hey friends. It’s easy to connect with people who have had experience with the mental health system whether good, bad, or indifferent. I’ve had a whole spectrum of interactions. The word interation implies that I play a role in creating the experience I have. How much power I have to shape it when it comes to interacting with the mental health system is another story. My most recent hospitalization was frickin’ terrible. Nevertheless, I’m determined to keep learning from it, and I’ve learned from it from day one upon arrival in the hospital. That’s a story for another day as I’m not out of the woods yet.
I feel there are many reasons why I co-created this experience. One reason was to show that I can co-un-create it by switching psychiatrists who took me off the totally-wrong-for-me treatment plan. This was a lot more difficult than it sounds, for another day. That brings me to the next “reason”, that I was able to see how so many people get put on aggressive, overmedicating “treatment” plans and don’t stand a chance. I barely escaped and for this reason I will be working on my “Ulysses Agreement” or “Advanced Directive”. This will be to describe the treatments that are unacceptable to me when I’m unable to voice it for myself. I’m not turning anti-psychiatry as I realize that if I lose touch with reality, my friends and family are going to call an ambulance or cart me off to the hospital. It’s the only option at the moment, though there are others that are possibilities.
Speaking of possibilities, whats yours? One of the reasons I feel I have been hospitalized 3 times in the past year is that I have less frequent connection with the community of people I’ve met since and because I was diagnosed. People with a diagnosis are awesome. They understand certain things without having to go into be explanations. I consider them “like-minded” people, and I like their minds. I also love their hearts. Everyone in the community is so kind, caring, and wonderful. I must get back to where I grew my roots after my life was turned inside out and spin around.
Since I’m not good with linear order, a third reason I feel I needed to experience the hospital in a scary way is to remind me of how bad it can be. My first hospitalization 5 years ago was so bad, but time and being immersed in a great community made me forget. I am now reminded.
I’ve seen so much that people deal with and have had my struggles. How can we make this better? What can we do? Can we live full lives despite it all?
I wrote this little blurb and used colored pens! I hope you like it, or at least that it doesn’t bother you.
I wish you well and always have love in my heart for the struggles of those surpass the understanding of our current paradigms. I hope one day they listen without judgement. Until then, be gentle on yourself. What are your gifts?