Bipolar Biophili-AWE. Noticing when I notice beauty, am I that?
I notice when my bipolar brain notices beauty, it’s not noticing and focusing on the inner-not-as-positive stuff. As a matter of fact, even when I notice positivity inwardly, it’s not as positive as noticing beauty outwardly, as the inward is verbal, not real, not experiential, not a fact. Words are not facts and the word is not the thing, as J. Krishnamurti says. Korzybski says, “The map is not the territory”, and we worship maps. When I see the fact of a flower, the actual flower, without the word “flower”, there is beauty. The word is not beautiful. The flower is. The flower is actual. I so often live in abstractions, associations, dissociations, delusions, hallucinations, psychosis, PTSD, Bipolar Disorder. Yet the flower is there, in absolute order, the order of nature, in perfect sanity. Beauty.
Abstractions, associations, dissociations, delusions, hallucinations, psychosis, PTSD, and Bipolar Disorder are not beautiful, as they are filled with words. An inner-space-time hell created by too many words. Word control us. Words that create unreal images that turn my imagination into a waking nightmare that torments my perceptions. A flower would not do this. A flower could not do this. So I notice that when I notice beauty, I am that beauty, and I am moving in that beautiful inner space, as I move through outward space and time, for the time being, as a being in time.