Happy 2 Year Bloggiversary! Bye- Bye Bipolar
I just noticed that today is two years since I published my first post. Things…haven’t changed that much since it started. The blog hasn’t “caught on”. And that is fine as I don’t create posts for them to catch on. It’s mainly for me to stay engaged in learning and sharing what I learn, to whomever may come across it.
I remember at first, it would take me a days to think of an idea and create a post. Now I just post whatever. I haven’t got into the technical side of blogging, trying to get others to link to my blog, or being all fancy with editing. I haven’t even been fancy with over thinking things. I just post whatever I come across. Sometimes I write personal stuff. I feel though, after getting the hang of posting, I could do that other stuff and get crafty if I wanted to. It has been a practice in sharing. I have done a bunch of research on “mental illness” and “bipolar disorder” in the last 2 years.
Another thing is that in this 2 year period, while researching mental illness, I have had 3 rehospitalizations. Before that, I had no reoccurance of severe distress since the initial occurencne 5.5 years ago. So I’m wondering about this whole idea of focussing on mental illness at all. I have also been working in the feild of mental health during that 2 year period. I wonder if I am perpetuating mental illness by “believing” it, buying into it, and participating in its existence. This could be a type of negative placebo affect. I actually came across a story of a woman with bipolar disorder who had the same experience of feeling worse while trying to learn everything about mental illness. When she stopped and began studying A Course in Miracles, she got better.
It’s been 2 years learning about bipolar disorder and I really feel it’s feeding its continuance. While I still work in mental health, perhaps that won’t last either. I am also writing and editing a book. Aside from that, I don’t feel I want to feed the words bipolar and mental illness any more. This sounds good in theory. I wonder how it will look in practice. I feel that whatever the energy is that is behind these strange experiences, it’s trying to tell me something. Perhaps it’s trying to tell me to live and enjoy life, to uplift and bring out the best in myself and others. Only at our best will the worlds problems fall away.
From now on, I will post “positive stuff” or stuff showing the give of seeing and experiencing things differently. I saw the term “mental diversity” in the description of the book “Neurotribes”. And while the book is mainly referencing Autism from what I could tell, I feel mental diversity might be the next type of diversity we need to get with. I have many thoughts, ideas, metophors, allegories etc related to extraordinary states that might provoke wonder and awe instead of the fear of the current labels and paradigm. The current lables disable us and make us unable to respond excpet through medical intervention. The old paradigm must be re-language to be inclusive of how people choose to see themselve through these experiences, and what one percieves is created. The old stigma story is such a dinosaur that I don’t see there is any stigma to fight. Fighting just creates more resistence. Know your heart. See the old paradigm for what it is, a story. The stories and adventures we have kept within our hearts could create a mighty movie production company. Doctors give us pills and go home and watch Netflix. One day they will be mezmerized by movies inspired by our harrowing tales. And what if the realities of infinite realities of complexity quantum holographically dynamically interacting takes over? We will still be able to walk this world. I shine my light on less than optimal language and blind it out of my brain. I neuroplastically erase what does not serve me and the greater good from my brain. This will be the last with any “anger” behind it. Any who. Bye-Bye Bipolar.