Living Bipolar – November 1st, 2017

Published on November 1, 2017 under bipolar disorder

I’ve been at this for 6.5 years.  Sometimes there is no time and everything seems to flow.  Other times, time crushes me as the gravity of pain flowing from my bones and inundating my aura, my being, and every cell in my body.

Right now is a time of immense pain and suffering.  It feels like certain factors have become more clear, and the brain has a sense there could be a resolution, but that it’s in a race against time, not to be erased before the pain lets up enough to fix the overwhelming agony.  The body braces each moment, and braces for the moment it may not have to brace.  A moment of relief only to be met with the sensation of jerking awake while falling asleep.

I don’t understand, though I’ve tried.  It’s so clear that to myself, I have lied.

It feels as if I have to re-live nearly dying over and over.  When will this be over?


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